Barmitzvah Boy
Global winner of the 2021 Christmas Quiz 👊🤩🤩
1. WARNING - this preview may offend snowflakes 
Please remember that due to our almighty god of all things football, Sky Sports, this game is now on a Sunday.
Are any of my happy band of readers missing going for a pint or two down the pub? If you are this is just for you to help you keep your pecker up:
View attachment 874B69E3-99F1-4031-BA7D-F5ECA5ABE646.MP4
So the Smoggies away, what a treat. I have been to the Cellnet, sorry Riverside Stadium, many times. The ground looks fine from the outside but sadly is a right dump inside. Every time I go to grounds like the Riverside I always think of the finishing touches that Jack Walker brought to Ewood. I feel the same when I look around at the breeze block and bare floors of some of the other stadia of the same era....we really did have it good under Jack.
In fact the toilets are of such renown at Boro they have a new mascot, the ‘Smoggie’ has now become the ‘Boggie’.
Rovers have very few links with Boro apart from an old geezer called Tony Mowbray, better known as the fit one in our very own version of the Fat Slags; indeed Rovers have two sets of Fat Slags. Below are pictured (l) Tony Booby and (r) Mark ’Men are from Mars’ Venus:
What a lovely couple of fine old Fat Slags
As for the game goodness only knows. Trying to predict a Rovers result is like dipping your arm in a school summer fete lucky draw sawdust bucket not knowing if you are going to pick out the star prize of a trip for 2 for a week at Butlins and finding you have drawn the booby prize of a two week trip instead.
But who knows what will happen if we have our other pair of Fat Slags up front, leading the line, putting their bodies on the line and setting an example of to our younger fans of how to look after your bodies. Here are own very own Ben ‘my body is a temple’ Brereton, and Sam ‘sex machine‘ Gallagher. I would travel the country to watch these two in action
Here they are again, this time celebrating a rare Rovers victory:
By the way I understand that the Rovers Commercial Department have come up with some great ideas to boost attendances for both home and away games next season. They are to have designated coaches to away fixtures. Some will include a South Asia coach with Shisa Pipes and a strict alcohol ban whilst there will be a ‘Gammon Only’ fans bus (expect this to be very popular - bookings in advance only) which will include a stripper (two actually, both of them Fat Slags) and Bernard Manning DVD’s playing continuously. I hope they include this clip:
View attachment F8DB2BC6-ED41-4C1D-8550-2FBC45BE915E.MP4
I did my usual research looking for famous Middlesbrough female fans. Sorry but there are very few. I did find a couple of well known ladies by the names of Waynetta Wotsit and Gladys Pimp but they are sadly doing 3 years for impersonating female Labour MP’s.
However I did manage to find one local beauty who models herself as the white Diane Abbott. Please meet the well known, in Middlesbrough, Dildo Abacus:
I did show the above image to our very own superfan Kate and she is worried that those beauties from the North East will give her a run for her money. Whilst Kate always appears so confident on the telly she is in real life a wee bit jealous. I have tried to assure her she has nothing to worry about but you know what women are like when it comes to their bodies, especially when there is some competition around.
Kate has risked an early prediction. 0-0 to us
Come on Tony. Get that handbag flying into the players and knock the soft mardy arses into shape.
Please remember that due to our almighty god of all things football, Sky Sports, this game is now on a Sunday.
Are any of my happy band of readers missing going for a pint or two down the pub? If you are this is just for you to help you keep your pecker up:
View attachment 874B69E3-99F1-4031-BA7D-F5ECA5ABE646.MP4
So the Smoggies away, what a treat. I have been to the Cellnet, sorry Riverside Stadium, many times. The ground looks fine from the outside but sadly is a right dump inside. Every time I go to grounds like the Riverside I always think of the finishing touches that Jack Walker brought to Ewood. I feel the same when I look around at the breeze block and bare floors of some of the other stadia of the same era....we really did have it good under Jack.
In fact the toilets are of such renown at Boro they have a new mascot, the ‘Smoggie’ has now become the ‘Boggie’.
Rovers have very few links with Boro apart from an old geezer called Tony Mowbray, better known as the fit one in our very own version of the Fat Slags; indeed Rovers have two sets of Fat Slags. Below are pictured (l) Tony Booby and (r) Mark ’Men are from Mars’ Venus:
What a lovely couple of fine old Fat Slags
As for the game goodness only knows. Trying to predict a Rovers result is like dipping your arm in a school summer fete lucky draw sawdust bucket not knowing if you are going to pick out the star prize of a trip for 2 for a week at Butlins and finding you have drawn the booby prize of a two week trip instead.
But who knows what will happen if we have our other pair of Fat Slags up front, leading the line, putting their bodies on the line and setting an example of to our younger fans of how to look after your bodies. Here are own very own Ben ‘my body is a temple’ Brereton, and Sam ‘sex machine‘ Gallagher. I would travel the country to watch these two in action
Here they are again, this time celebrating a rare Rovers victory:
By the way I understand that the Rovers Commercial Department have come up with some great ideas to boost attendances for both home and away games next season. They are to have designated coaches to away fixtures. Some will include a South Asia coach with Shisa Pipes and a strict alcohol ban whilst there will be a ‘Gammon Only’ fans bus (expect this to be very popular - bookings in advance only) which will include a stripper (two actually, both of them Fat Slags) and Bernard Manning DVD’s playing continuously. I hope they include this clip:
View attachment F8DB2BC6-ED41-4C1D-8550-2FBC45BE915E.MP4
I did my usual research looking for famous Middlesbrough female fans. Sorry but there are very few. I did find a couple of well known ladies by the names of Waynetta Wotsit and Gladys Pimp but they are sadly doing 3 years for impersonating female Labour MP’s.
However I did manage to find one local beauty who models herself as the white Diane Abbott. Please meet the well known, in Middlesbrough, Dildo Abacus:
I did show the above image to our very own superfan Kate and she is worried that those beauties from the North East will give her a run for her money. Whilst Kate always appears so confident on the telly she is in real life a wee bit jealous. I have tried to assure her she has nothing to worry about but you know what women are like when it comes to their bodies, especially when there is some competition around.
Kate has risked an early prediction. 0-0 to us
Come on Tony. Get that handbag flying into the players and knock the soft mardy arses into shape.
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