Barmitzvah Boy
Global winner of the 2021 Christmas Quiz 👊🤩🤩
Coventry away does not exactly rock my boat. After recent Rovers performances it would have been appropriate to play this game on 1st April rather than the 2nd.
I have been to the old Highfield Road ground a few times to watch Rovers and we have lost on all 3 occasions. Perhaps it is for the best that I am staying away this time; I have a busy day next Saturday whittling some wood and licking out the septic tank; both of these will be far more enjoyable than watching our turgid team struggle to put 3 passes together unless they are passing across our defensive players.
Fellow poster rovers95 will recall an old school friend by the name of Neil Coventry (any idea what became of him rovers95?). Neil was the only Coventry fan in the village and he tried to keep it keep his secret until outed by rovers95
. He claimed his affliction was influenced by watching that famous Ernie Hunt free kick, personally I think it had something to do with his surname.
THAT FREE KICK:
Neil lived next door to a pub which was great fun. We were always sneaking into the beer store in the garage and at the age of 14 were often tipsy on a mix of Brown Ale and Mackeson. Even better we knew where the pie man delivered the pasties to and we would often have a little nibble before putting the pasty back in the bottom of the pile;
BB LOVES A NIBBLE
The pub used to serve basic food but soon dropped the limited option of ham sandwiches or a warm pasty (for some reason the sale of pasties plummeted after we discovered them) and The Plough Inn moved up market with continental specialities such as Lasagne (microwaved) and mashed potatoes (reconstituted).
Indeed The Plough Inn hit the front pages of the quality press after their chef was shunned by a barmaid and decided to get amorous with a lasagne. Incidentally I prefer shagging a pasty (more details later*).
LASAGNE L’AMOUR
The chef also had a thing with Smash. In fact he was such a randy boy that he would try and roger anything and everything including Neil
. His randy activities came to an abrupt end when he was admitted to hospital after trying to get it off with microwave reheated Smash - he had to insert his pecker in a portion of ice cream to mitigate from the agony of a scorched knob.
ALL HOT FOOD SHOULD CARRY THIS HEALTH WARNING ACCORDING TO THE EU:
Coventry of course is a strange place and is inhabited by people with strange accents. The football ground moved out of town and adjacent to the M6 and the club has only just returned to the stadium after a few years of playing at Northampton and than St Andrew’s.
One regular attender at the Coventry Demolition Society Stadium is the original ‘Sexy Beast’ Amanda Redman, star of Dixon of Dock Green and Z Cars. I have no idea why she has her nickname.
AMANDA REDHOTMAN
I have a more recent image of Amanda about to mount her hoss prior to her riding naked through the fair streets of Coventry as a Lady Godiva lookalike. What a lovely beast…..
Coventry of course is not only famous for Lady Godiva. Her husband was equally as famous but liked to wear protection when mounting his mare. Here is her man - St George, the Patron Saint of Shopping Centres (the one in Preston is apparently named after him and his charity gets a percentage from every Greggs Pasty (yummy, my favourite
) sold in the St George’s Shopping Centre.
The only other claim to fame in Coventry is that William Shakespeare once dated a lass from Coventry and jilted her in favour of Anne Hatherway. When William picked up his copy of the Coventry Evening Telegraph and read the following he soon realised he had made the correct decision to dump poor old Honoria.
‘Coventry girls among ugliest in UK says poll
COVENTRY girls are not happy after being named as among the worst-looking women in Britain.’
THE VERY NEARLY MRS HONORIA SHAKESPEARE
As for the game I am struggling to predict a Rovers result anymore apart from we will no doubt make a few cock ups (hopefully no lasagne will be involved). Tony really does need to have a plan B and a plan C; sadly he seems to have no idea how to change matters when the plan A is not working or at the very best he leaves it far to late to make changes. As for this game I will stick my neck out and go for a 2-0 defeat.
Rather than sticking her neck out will Lady Godiva will be sticking her chest out in celebration?
With all my love and kisses
BB
*PS: WARNING!!! Don’t do what I did as it will fry your foreskin:
I have been to the old Highfield Road ground a few times to watch Rovers and we have lost on all 3 occasions. Perhaps it is for the best that I am staying away this time; I have a busy day next Saturday whittling some wood and licking out the septic tank; both of these will be far more enjoyable than watching our turgid team struggle to put 3 passes together unless they are passing across our defensive players.
Fellow poster rovers95 will recall an old school friend by the name of Neil Coventry (any idea what became of him rovers95?). Neil was the only Coventry fan in the village and he tried to keep it keep his secret until outed by rovers95
. He claimed his affliction was influenced by watching that famous Ernie Hunt free kick, personally I think it had something to do with his surname.THAT FREE KICK:
Neil lived next door to a pub which was great fun. We were always sneaking into the beer store in the garage and at the age of 14 were often tipsy on a mix of Brown Ale and Mackeson. Even better we knew where the pie man delivered the pasties to and we would often have a little nibble before putting the pasty back in the bottom of the pile;
BB LOVES A NIBBLE
The pub used to serve basic food but soon dropped the limited option of ham sandwiches or a warm pasty (for some reason the sale of pasties plummeted after we discovered them) and The Plough Inn moved up market with continental specialities such as Lasagne (microwaved) and mashed potatoes (reconstituted).
Indeed The Plough Inn hit the front pages of the quality press after their chef was shunned by a barmaid and decided to get amorous with a lasagne. Incidentally I prefer shagging a pasty (more details later*).
LASAGNE L’AMOUR
The chef also had a thing with Smash. In fact he was such a randy boy that he would try and roger anything and everything including Neil
. His randy activities came to an abrupt end when he was admitted to hospital after trying to get it off with microwave reheated Smash - he had to insert his pecker in a portion of ice cream to mitigate from the agony of a scorched knob.ALL HOT FOOD SHOULD CARRY THIS HEALTH WARNING ACCORDING TO THE EU:
Coventry of course is a strange place and is inhabited by people with strange accents. The football ground moved out of town and adjacent to the M6 and the club has only just returned to the stadium after a few years of playing at Northampton and than St Andrew’s.
One regular attender at the Coventry Demolition Society Stadium is the original ‘Sexy Beast’ Amanda Redman, star of Dixon of Dock Green and Z Cars. I have no idea why she has her nickname.
AMANDA REDHOTMAN
I have a more recent image of Amanda about to mount her hoss prior to her riding naked through the fair streets of Coventry as a Lady Godiva lookalike. What a lovely beast…..
Coventry of course is not only famous for Lady Godiva. Her husband was equally as famous but liked to wear protection when mounting his mare. Here is her man - St George, the Patron Saint of Shopping Centres (the one in Preston is apparently named after him and his charity gets a percentage from every Greggs Pasty (yummy, my favourite
) sold in the St George’s Shopping Centre.The only other claim to fame in Coventry is that William Shakespeare once dated a lass from Coventry and jilted her in favour of Anne Hatherway. When William picked up his copy of the Coventry Evening Telegraph and read the following he soon realised he had made the correct decision to dump poor old Honoria.
‘Coventry girls among ugliest in UK says poll
COVENTRY girls are not happy after being named as among the worst-looking women in Britain.’
THE VERY NEARLY MRS HONORIA SHAKESPEARE
As for the game I am struggling to predict a Rovers result anymore apart from we will no doubt make a few cock ups (hopefully no lasagne will be involved). Tony really does need to have a plan B and a plan C; sadly he seems to have no idea how to change matters when the plan A is not working or at the very best he leaves it far to late to make changes. As for this game I will stick my neck out and go for a 2-0 defeat.
Rather than sticking her neck out will Lady Godiva will be sticking her chest out in celebration?
With all my love and kisses
BB
*PS: WARNING!!! Don’t do what I did as it will fry your foreskin:
