DIARY OF A POMMIE IN WESTERN AUSTRALIA
August 31 - Just got transferred with work from Leeds UK to our new
home in Karratha , Western Australia . Now this is a town that knows
how to live! Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings. I watched
the sunset from a deckchair by the pool yesterday. It was beautiful.
I've finally found my new home. I love it here.
September 13 - Really heating up now. It got to 31 today. No problem
though. Living in air-conditioned home, driving air-conditioned car.
What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a
sun-worshipper.
September 30th - Had the back yard landscaped with tropical plants
today. Lots of palms and rocks. No more mowing lawns for me. Another
scorcher today, but I love it here.
October 10th - The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week. How do
people get used to this kind of heat? At least today it's windy though.
Keeps the flies off a bit. Acclimatizing is taking longer than I
expected.
October 15th - Fell asleep by the pool yesterday. Got third degree
burns over 60% of my body. Missed three days of work. What a dumb thing
to do! Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
October 20th - Didn't notice Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car
before I left for work this morning. By the time I got back to the car
after work, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag
and stuck to the upholstery. The car now smells like Whiskettes and cat
shit. I've earned my lesson though: no more pets in this heat.
October 25 - This wind is a bastard. It feels like a giant fuckin' blow
dryer. And it's hot as hell! The home air conditioner is on the blink
and the repair man charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needs
to order parts from fuckin' Perth ....
October 30th - The temperature's up around 40 and the parts still
haven't arrived for the fuckin' aircon. Been sleeping outside by the
pool for three nights now. Bloody $600,000 house and we can't even go
inside. Why the hell did I ever come here?
November 4 - Finally got the ol' aircon fixed. It cost $1,500 and gets
the temperature down to around 25 degrees, but the humidity makes it
feel about 30. Stupid repairman.
November 8 - If one more smart arse says 'Hot enough for you today?'
I'm going to fuckin' throttle him. Fuckin' heat! By the time I get to
work, the car's radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking
fuckin' wet and I smell like baked cat!
November 9 Tried to run some errands after work, wore shorts, and sat
on the black leather upholstery in the ol' car. I thought my fuckin'
arse was on fire. I lost two layers of flesh, all the hair on the backs
of my legs and my fuckin' arse. Now the car smells like burnt hair,
fried arse and baked cat!
November 10 - Weather report! It might as well be a fuckin' recording.
Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny, Hot and fuckin' sunny! It's been too hot
to do anything for two fuckin' months and the weatherman says it might
really warm up next week.
November 15 - Doesn't it ever rain in this damn fuckin' place? Water
restrictions will be next, so my $5,000 worth of palms might just dry
up and blow into the fuckin' pool. The only things that thrive in this
hell-hole are the fuckin' flies. You don't dare open your mouth for
fear of swallowing half a dozen of the fuckers!
November 20th - Welcome to HELL! It got to 45 fuckin' degrees today.
Now the air conditioner's gone in my car.. The repair man came to fix
it and said, 'Hot enough for you today?' I had to spend the $2,500
mortgage payment to bail me out of jail for assaulting the stupid
fucker. Fuckin' Karratha! What kind of sick, demented fuckin' idiot
would want to live here!
December 1 -
WHAT!!!!
The first day of Summer!!!!
You are fuckin' kidding!
