Barmitzvah Boy
Global winner of the 2021 Christmas Quiz 👊🤩🤩
Hull away at the Kumbaya Stadium, is not exactly one to normally lick your lips at. However this season is different and I just hope we continue our rich vein of form playing wonderful football, defending like titans and scoring like a sailor in his first brothel.
Sadly this may be the last football game spectators are allowed in to watch for a while. While Jockland, Nor Iron and the Taffs lockdown our very own Boris is acting like King Cunt (my apologies for the language but he is more a King C**t than King Canute).
Boxing Day has no public transport but we will still have almost 2,500 Rovers fans in attendance which is impressive; I gather a number of pubs have coach trips laid on and heard yesterday that the Rishton Blues are going from The Station Pub (are you going Khmer?).
I will be attending and as ever I will be acutely conscious of the need to save the planet. Unlike Boris I believe in leading by example and I will be in the trusty Range Rover with the cruise control set at 68mph and ECO Mode selected.
Hull has very few claims to fame. It incidentally has only the 2nd lowest of letters (4 the last time I counted them) of a UK city only losing out to Ely which I understand only has 3 letters. It is also the birthplace and home of actress Maureen Lipman. Maureen and her sadly long dead husband Jack Rosenthal* are godparents to a friend of mine from Blackpool. Out of respect I will not post any ‘saucy’ photographs of Mrs Lipman, the truth is that I could not find any.
The other famous resident of Hull is the only and only ‘2 Jabs / 2 Jags’ Lord John Prescott. Pugilist, politician and trade unionist (NUSP - National Union of Semen Producers) Lord Prescott, I was told, previously believed the House of Lords should be abolished.
Which One Shall I Be Driven in Today?
I heard recently that he does not like to be referred to by his name John Prescott and insists on being referred to as His Highness the most noble Lord Prescott Esquire, Leader of the Hypocrites.
Lord Prescott Listening to Proceedings in the House of Cards
I rarely mock or use satire in my posts but Lordy Lordy Prescott enables me to introduce some sarcasm and the occasional smatter of wit. A quick Google of Lord God Prescott brings forth some crackers; some of these follow…..
Caught Out Swigging the Claret
Don’t Mess with me!! I’ll call the Guard and have you Ejaculated
“I call for the Abolishment of the House of Lords but only after I have done my Stint”
“Can I claim on my House of Lords Expenses for my Labour Party Membership.”
Enough of Labour grandees. Far to many of them have sold their souls to the fat trough of politics.
The Labour Party at Work
Afte much research I did manage to find a famous Hull female football fan. Sinitta strangely also purports to support Chelsea as well as Hull. What a strange combination; I wonder if she likes a bit of rough as well as a bit of posh? Sinitta famously dated Simon Cowell and is pictured below engaging in a bit of foreplay with Simon. I do rather like Sinitta and I was always impressed with her voiceovers for The Clangers. I am going to ask Kate if she will lick my nose for Christmas, I promise to blow it before she locks on.
Siniatta and Simon Engage in a bit of Foreplay
For those of you unable to get to Hull the game has been selected for Sky Sports, if you don’t have Sky you can buy a 24 hour Now TV pass for £9.99. Don’t forget to select the football option rather than the 24 hour porn option
As for the result I am going to stick my nose out and predict 3-0 to Rovers. Kate tells me she believes it will be 1-0 to Rovers. Sadly Kate feels spurned and is rarely talking to me anymore. She found the Christmas card that Belinda sent. I tried to explain that she was doing some keep fit whilst hanging from a wooden bar in the gym and had a wardrobe malfunction. However the message on the reverse (‘see you in the Hull Premier Inn pre and post-match and we will warm up and cool down my sweet smelling hulk’) gave it away
Belinda sends her Love
Enjoy the game. Be good and don’t overdo the goose.
Love and Kisses. Joyeux Noel. BB
*spot the link?
Sadly this may be the last football game spectators are allowed in to watch for a while. While Jockland, Nor Iron and the Taffs lockdown our very own Boris is acting like King Cunt (my apologies for the language but he is more a King C**t than King Canute).
Boxing Day has no public transport but we will still have almost 2,500 Rovers fans in attendance which is impressive; I gather a number of pubs have coach trips laid on and heard yesterday that the Rishton Blues are going from The Station Pub (are you going Khmer?).
I will be attending and as ever I will be acutely conscious of the need to save the planet. Unlike Boris I believe in leading by example and I will be in the trusty Range Rover with the cruise control set at 68mph and ECO Mode selected.
Hull has very few claims to fame. It incidentally has only the 2nd lowest of letters (4 the last time I counted them) of a UK city only losing out to Ely which I understand only has 3 letters. It is also the birthplace and home of actress Maureen Lipman. Maureen and her sadly long dead husband Jack Rosenthal* are godparents to a friend of mine from Blackpool. Out of respect I will not post any ‘saucy’ photographs of Mrs Lipman, the truth is that I could not find any.
The other famous resident of Hull is the only and only ‘2 Jabs / 2 Jags’ Lord John Prescott. Pugilist, politician and trade unionist (NUSP - National Union of Semen Producers) Lord Prescott, I was told, previously believed the House of Lords should be abolished.
Which One Shall I Be Driven in Today?
I heard recently that he does not like to be referred to by his name John Prescott and insists on being referred to as His Highness the most noble Lord Prescott Esquire, Leader of the Hypocrites.
Lord Prescott Listening to Proceedings in the House of Cards
I rarely mock or use satire in my posts but Lordy Lordy Prescott enables me to introduce some sarcasm and the occasional smatter of wit. A quick Google of Lord God Prescott brings forth some crackers; some of these follow…..
Caught Out Swigging the Claret
Don’t Mess with me!! I’ll call the Guard and have you Ejaculated
“I call for the Abolishment of the House of Lords but only after I have done my Stint”
“Can I claim on my House of Lords Expenses for my Labour Party Membership.”
Enough of Labour grandees. Far to many of them have sold their souls to the fat trough of politics.
The Labour Party at Work
Afte much research I did manage to find a famous Hull female football fan. Sinitta strangely also purports to support Chelsea as well as Hull. What a strange combination; I wonder if she likes a bit of rough as well as a bit of posh? Sinitta famously dated Simon Cowell and is pictured below engaging in a bit of foreplay with Simon. I do rather like Sinitta and I was always impressed with her voiceovers for The Clangers. I am going to ask Kate if she will lick my nose for Christmas, I promise to blow it before she locks on.
Siniatta and Simon Engage in a bit of Foreplay
For those of you unable to get to Hull the game has been selected for Sky Sports, if you don’t have Sky you can buy a 24 hour Now TV pass for £9.99. Don’t forget to select the football option rather than the 24 hour porn option
As for the result I am going to stick my nose out and predict 3-0 to Rovers. Kate tells me she believes it will be 1-0 to Rovers. Sadly Kate feels spurned and is rarely talking to me anymore. She found the Christmas card that Belinda sent. I tried to explain that she was doing some keep fit whilst hanging from a wooden bar in the gym and had a wardrobe malfunction. However the message on the reverse (‘see you in the Hull Premier Inn pre and post-match and we will warm up and cool down my sweet smelling hulk’) gave it away
Belinda sends her Love
Enjoy the game. Be good and don’t overdo the goose.
Love and Kisses. Joyeux Noel. BB
*spot the link?
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and ta for the NowTV tip 
not been one for yes, I'm up market these days.Feniscowles has the privilege to house me, not for long hopefully. Love to go but my back would not make it
