Barmitzvah Boy
Global winner of the 2021 Christmas Quiz 👊🤩🤩
After 3 wretched Championship games we really need to start picking up points. I realise it is early in the season and we have another 40 games to go but these defeats must but confidence sapping. What concerns me is firstly the tippy tappy football across the back; we are not good enough to make this work and are at risk of getting caught out time and time again. Stoke read our quick break from the back approach and nullified the threat of BBD - that is of course if he was a threat on Saturday as he looked like his mind was elsewhere, perhaps on his future pay packet. I am not a statistician but I cannot recall us having a chance on target over the whole of the last 3 games; I am happy to be corrected but we really do need an accomplished goal scorer, when BBD has gone we will really be struggling as we will have no big target man.
Onwards to Blackpool this Wednesday at the end of a turgid run of games. This is live on Sky so I expect the great unwashed of Blackburn will be tucked up in front of their telly with a party case of Stella and a few spliffs using the cost of living for an excuse not to attend when in reality it is because our support are a bunch of fair weather Charlie’s. It is probably a good job Drog is not going this year after he could not find his coach after the game last season - too many sherbets I suspect
In writing this preview I debated whether to Google donkeys, smack heads or Gypsy Rose Lee but instead I decided to focus on what Blackpool are really good at, namely football and drag queens. It came as a surprise to me that the strict salary cap at BFC has resulted in some of the players doing a bit of moonlighting to supplement their meagre incomes. Indeed some of the Blackpool lads (or should I say lasses) have really gone that extra mile and have set up the BFC LGBTQTXYZ FC who play in the Blackpool Queer League on Sunday afternoon following church.
The Bendy Boys is their nickname and they are coached by Missy ‘Voldemort’ Appleton. In charge of the shower soap bars is local personality Sadie Heartthrob.
HEAD COACH MISSY APPLETON
SADIE ‘SOAP ON A ROPE’ HEART THROB
Apparently training is good fun for the Blackpool boys / girls with sessions taking place in the Funnygirls car park. Early this week they intend to practice penalty taking and this will be followed by a session on sports bra fitting for the well endowed.
PENALTY PRACTICE AT FUNNYGIRLS
BIG BERT NEEDS A NEW SPORTS BRA BEFORE HIS MAN BOOBS CAUSE SOME DAMAGE
Our very own JDT has done his homework on Blackpool and has already booked his post-match massage at the Lithuanian ‘Cream of the North’ A1 Massage and Tanning Parlour (cash only). He has started to get into the mood and on the training ground this Bank Holiday Monday he was screaming to Dack to “Get into the back of him….fast. Like this!!!”.
JUNKER DAHL TRANSVESTITE (JDT) TAKES TRAINING
Meanwhile Blackpool intend to expose their new signing Mindy ‘The Minge’ Morgan who will leading the front line and taking all the head ers. He really is a hard man and Rovers need to watch out for his fast moving penetrating attacking moves in an attempt to get behind our defenders.
MINDY FROM BLACKPOOL
I have decided to get some of the lads together for the trip to Bloomersfield this Wednesday. I am sure we will all be up for it, and following discussion we have decided not th wear colours as we are going into town afterwards and we want to blend in just like the locals.
BB AND HIS CREW ARE GOING INCOGNITO TO BLACKPOOL
I really do hope Rovers put in a better performance than last season. It was a very wet day for the fans and a wet lettuce day and limp wristed performance from the Rovers. We did not seem to get going until 75 minutes in and by then it was too late. I have managed to borrow a couple of images from the LT of that game and it just about sums up our approach.
BUCKLEY GETS BEATEN BY A PLAYER IN BLACK LEATHER HIGH HEELS
LENIHAN BEATEN BY A TUTU YET AGAIN
I do worry about this game. We really do need to play it straight and not be taken in by opposition tactics to disrupt our flowing movements. I have discussed the game with ‘Our Carol’ and she is going to give it a miss; she does not like Blackpool as she is always getting accosted by some sexist prick. I know exactly how she feels. We discussed tactics and we agree that we come out and try and stick it up them in good old Sgt Jones fashion. If Rovers take the direct route rather than fanny about I reckon we will do well. Therefore I am going for a 4-0 win prediction for the boys in blue and white.
‘OUR CAROL’ SAYS WE NEED TO GO AT THEM FULL FRONTAL
I also predict the BB crew will have a most pleasant evening in the Soul Bar pole dancing the night away.
Love kisses, be careful and be prepared
BB
Onwards to Blackpool this Wednesday at the end of a turgid run of games. This is live on Sky so I expect the great unwashed of Blackburn will be tucked up in front of their telly with a party case of Stella and a few spliffs using the cost of living for an excuse not to attend when in reality it is because our support are a bunch of fair weather Charlie’s. It is probably a good job Drog is not going this year after he could not find his coach after the game last season - too many sherbets I suspect
In writing this preview I debated whether to Google donkeys, smack heads or Gypsy Rose Lee but instead I decided to focus on what Blackpool are really good at, namely football and drag queens. It came as a surprise to me that the strict salary cap at BFC has resulted in some of the players doing a bit of moonlighting to supplement their meagre incomes. Indeed some of the Blackpool lads (or should I say lasses) have really gone that extra mile and have set up the BFC LGBTQTXYZ FC who play in the Blackpool Queer League on Sunday afternoon following church.
The Bendy Boys is their nickname and they are coached by Missy ‘Voldemort’ Appleton. In charge of the shower soap bars is local personality Sadie Heartthrob.
HEAD COACH MISSY APPLETON
SADIE ‘SOAP ON A ROPE’ HEART THROB
Apparently training is good fun for the Blackpool boys / girls with sessions taking place in the Funnygirls car park. Early this week they intend to practice penalty taking and this will be followed by a session on sports bra fitting for the well endowed.
PENALTY PRACTICE AT FUNNYGIRLS
BIG BERT NEEDS A NEW SPORTS BRA BEFORE HIS MAN BOOBS CAUSE SOME DAMAGE
Our very own JDT has done his homework on Blackpool and has already booked his post-match massage at the Lithuanian ‘Cream of the North’ A1 Massage and Tanning Parlour (cash only). He has started to get into the mood and on the training ground this Bank Holiday Monday he was screaming to Dack to “Get into the back of him….fast. Like this!!!”.
JUNKER DAHL TRANSVESTITE (JDT) TAKES TRAINING
Meanwhile Blackpool intend to expose their new signing Mindy ‘The Minge’ Morgan who will leading the front line and taking all the head ers. He really is a hard man and Rovers need to watch out for his fast moving penetrating attacking moves in an attempt to get behind our defenders.
MINDY FROM BLACKPOOL
I have decided to get some of the lads together for the trip to Bloomersfield this Wednesday. I am sure we will all be up for it, and following discussion we have decided not th wear colours as we are going into town afterwards and we want to blend in just like the locals.
BB AND HIS CREW ARE GOING INCOGNITO TO BLACKPOOL
I really do hope Rovers put in a better performance than last season. It was a very wet day for the fans and a wet lettuce day and limp wristed performance from the Rovers. We did not seem to get going until 75 minutes in and by then it was too late. I have managed to borrow a couple of images from the LT of that game and it just about sums up our approach.
BUCKLEY GETS BEATEN BY A PLAYER IN BLACK LEATHER HIGH HEELS
LENIHAN BEATEN BY A TUTU YET AGAIN
I do worry about this game. We really do need to play it straight and not be taken in by opposition tactics to disrupt our flowing movements. I have discussed the game with ‘Our Carol’ and she is going to give it a miss; she does not like Blackpool as she is always getting accosted by some sexist prick. I know exactly how she feels. We discussed tactics and we agree that we come out and try and stick it up them in good old Sgt Jones fashion. If Rovers take the direct route rather than fanny about I reckon we will do well. Therefore I am going for a 4-0 win prediction for the boys in blue and white.
‘OUR CAROL’ SAYS WE NEED TO GO AT THEM FULL FRONTAL
I also predict the BB crew will have a most pleasant evening in the Soul Bar pole dancing the night away.
Love kisses, be careful and be prepared
BB
