Which guy?
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NEXT GAME:Leicester City FC
Saturday 4th May 2024
Kick off 12.30 pm
Kingpower Stadium
Championship
Old Darwen Blue
Prediction Champion 2021 & 2022
A Jordan Rhodes goal
A
ABBEY
Guest
he could be watching the goal machine but one thing I will guarantee he aint watching a zzzam game
Wilpshire Blue
Senior Member
Bloke says to his nagging wife, “what would you do if I won the lottery?”
She says, “I’d take half and leave you!”
“Good”, he says, ”I’ve just won a tenner. Here’s five quid, f*ck off!”
She says, “I’d take half and leave you!”
“Good”, he says, ”I’ve just won a tenner. Here’s five quid, f*ck off!”
Due to the current economic crisis, Greece is cancelling all production of humus and taramasalata.
It's a double dip recession.
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63 Pakistanis died in Bradford this morning. It was not a terrorist attack, a bunk bed collapsed.
The police are blaming AL IKEA.
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Jonathan Ross has been accused of shoplifting a kitchen utensil from Tesco.
Ross says it was a whisk he was prepared to take.
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Police stop a suspicious-looking transit van on the main road out of Dover. Policeman says "Do you know the limit is 70?"
The driver leans into the back and says: "Hear that? ... 6 of you have got to get out!"
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Paddy & Mick stagger out of the zoo with blood pouring from them.
"Bugger that", said Paddy, "That's the last time I go lion dancing".
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Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on Friday this year". Mick said,
"Let's hope it's not the 13th then".
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My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 15 hours to Hoover the house.
Turns out she was a Slovak.
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I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper.
To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit.
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Two women called at my door and asked what bread I ate. When I said white, they gave me a 30-minute lecture on the benefits of brown bread
. I think they were those Hovis Witnesses.
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Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.
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A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Rocher.
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Just A Reminder to those who stole Electrical Goods in Last Year's Riots......
Your One Year manufacturer's Warranty runs out soon.
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Two Indian junkies accidentally snorted curry powder instead of cocaine, both in hospital......
One's in a korma.......
The other's got a dodgy tikka!
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An Englishman has started his own business in Afghanistan. He is making Land Mines that look like prayer mats! It's doing well!
Prophets are going through the roof!
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A boy asks his granny, 'Have you seen my pills, they were labelled LSD?'
Granny replies, Bugger the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?
It's a double dip recession.
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63 Pakistanis died in Bradford this morning. It was not a terrorist attack, a bunk bed collapsed.
The police are blaming AL IKEA.
----------------------------------------
Jonathan Ross has been accused of shoplifting a kitchen utensil from Tesco.
Ross says it was a whisk he was prepared to take.
----------------------------------------
Police stop a suspicious-looking transit van on the main road out of Dover. Policeman says "Do you know the limit is 70?"
The driver leans into the back and says: "Hear that? ... 6 of you have got to get out!"
----------------------------------------
Paddy & Mick stagger out of the zoo with blood pouring from them.
"Bugger that", said Paddy, "That's the last time I go lion dancing".
----------------------------------------
Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on Friday this year". Mick said,
"Let's hope it's not the 13th then".
----------------------------------------
My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 15 hours to Hoover the house.
Turns out she was a Slovak.
----------------------------------------
I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper.
To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit.
----------------------------------------
Two women called at my door and asked what bread I ate. When I said white, they gave me a 30-minute lecture on the benefits of brown bread
. I think they were those Hovis Witnesses.
----------------------------------------
Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.
----------------------------------------
A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Rocher.
----------------------------------------
Just A Reminder to those who stole Electrical Goods in Last Year's Riots......
Your One Year manufacturer's Warranty runs out soon.
----------------------------------------
Two Indian junkies accidentally snorted curry powder instead of cocaine, both in hospital......
One's in a korma.......
The other's got a dodgy tikka!
----------------------------------------
An Englishman has started his own business in Afghanistan. He is making Land Mines that look like prayer mats! It's doing well!
Prophets are going through the roof!
----------------------------------------
A boy asks his granny, 'Have you seen my pills, they were labelled LSD?'
Granny replies, Bugger the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?
A
ABBEY
Guest
A
ABBEY
Guest
A
ABBEY
Guest
Steve Moss
Senior Member
Wilpshire Blue
Senior Member
An 80 year old man visits his doctor for a check up.
"How are you?" Asks the doctor.
"Fine", he replies, " I now have a 20 year old wife and she is expecting our first child"
The doctor looks a little concerned and says, " let me tell you a story.
A friend of mine is a keen hunter and went on a hunting trip. Unfortunately, instead of picking up his gun when he left, he picked up his umbrella by mistake.
Whilst he was out hunting, he saw a lion. He aimed the umbrella and BAM, the lion fell dead".
"That's ridiculous", says the old man, "someone else shot the lion".
"Exactly", said the doctor.
"How are you?" Asks the doctor.
"Fine", he replies, " I now have a 20 year old wife and she is expecting our first child"
The doctor looks a little concerned and says, " let me tell you a story.
A friend of mine is a keen hunter and went on a hunting trip. Unfortunately, instead of picking up his gun when he left, he picked up his umbrella by mistake.
Whilst he was out hunting, he saw a lion. He aimed the umbrella and BAM, the lion fell dead".
"That's ridiculous", says the old man, "someone else shot the lion".
"Exactly", said the doctor.
A
ABBEY
Guest
A
ABBEY
Guest
Old Darwen Blue
Prediction Champion 2021 & 2022
She’s got a face like a plasterers radio
A
ABBEY
Guest
A
ABBEY
Guest
This guy has a pet duck he takes it everywhere with him and hates to be separated from it .....
One day he decides to go to the cinema to see the latest blockbuster .
He walks up duck under arm, but is told "sorry no pets including ducks allowed "
So he stuffs the duck down the front of his trousers and pays in, and sits next to two girls .
A short time later the first girl says to the second girl “That man’s fly is undone and his thing keeps popping out ”
The second girl replies “So what, you’ve seen one you’ve seen them all”.
first Girl says “Yeah but this one keeps eating my popcorn!”
One day he decides to go to the cinema to see the latest blockbuster .
He walks up duck under arm, but is told "sorry no pets including ducks allowed "
So he stuffs the duck down the front of his trousers and pays in, and sits next to two girls .
A short time later the first girl says to the second girl “That man’s fly is undone and his thing keeps popping out ”
The second girl replies “So what, you’ve seen one you’ve seen them all”.
first Girl says “Yeah but this one keeps eating my popcorn!”
A
ABBEY
Guest
what da ya think pink hahaha